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Asking for a Friend: How Do I (Temporarily) Quit Dating?

Relationship coach and boundary expert Silvy Khoucasian helps one single Brooklynite adjust to the idea of not dating again until COVID-19 cases drop (or a vaccine becomes available)….

In these uncertain times, it’s hard to know how to navigate even the things that once felt simplest. With this new advice column, we’ll be soliciting the help of qualified experts as we explore the deeply personal, only occasionally ridiculous issues that are flummoxing us during the COVID-19 pandemic.

I’m a (relatively) young, single Brooklynite who went through what one might call a second adolescence after coming out as queer at age 24. While my early 20s were defined primarily by avoiding dating at all costs, the last three years have been a flurry of Tinder, Hinge, and Lex encounters—until March, that is, when the COVID-19 pandemic forced me to hit pause on my search for romance.

After a slow return to precaution-laden dating during the relatively safe summer months, I realized when cases skyrocketed in early November that I would need to close my circle yet again. The question remains, though: After going on literally hundreds of dates in the past few years, how am I supposed to adjust to not going indoors with anyone new—or, in other words, zero non-platonic dating whatsoever—until cases drop and/or a vaccine achieves meaningful saturation?

For help with this quandary, I turned to relationship coach Silvy Khoucasian, who specializes in helping people set healthy boundaries. Sure, those boundaries are normally set within existing romantic relationships, but could Khoucasian’s advice help me redefine my relationship with dating as a single person? Read on to find out.

Okay, stupidest question first…Is it possible to be addicted to dating?

Well, at one point I might have said I was addicted to dating! I don’t like to use the word “addicted,” though, because it can be very pathologizing. I think we have certain needs we might want to fill through dating, and we can absolutely recognize when those needs start coming from a place of anxiety. Exploring that anxiety, and taking breaks from dating, can actually be really helpful.

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Do you think it’s possible that knowing I can’t really date during the COVID-19 pandemic is actually making me want to date more?

Well, it’s all about naming the existential challenges—the loneliness, right? And the feeling of desperation, of clinging to something that doesn’t necessarily feel nourishing. Part of it is about acknowledging and normalizing those things. For example, skin hunger is very real right now, for people in relationships and especially for people who are single and don’t have people touching them as regularly. People are also dealing with existential crises as they’re faced with illness and potential death, so they might feel an extra pull to grasp for relationships.

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Raekwon Unveils “The Emperor’s New Clothes” With All-Star Lineup

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Raekwon, a legendary rapper known for his role in the Wu-Tang Clan, has just announced his long-awaited eighth studio album, titled “The Emperor’s New Clothes,” set to be released through Mass Appeal. Although no singles have been shared yet, the album is already creating a buzz and is highly anticipated this summer. It’s been seven years since Raekwon last released a solo album, and this new project feels more like a grand return than just another release.

He’s teamed up with a mix of familiar faces from the Wu-Tang Clan and some fresh talent in hip-hop. Listeners can look forward to clever lyrics and captivating stories filled with raw emotion. Raekwon has invited his Wu-Tang brothers Ghostface Killah, Method Man, and Inspectah Deck to feature on the album, ensuring a classic blend that fans love. He’s also brought in well-respected artists outside of the Wu-Tang family, like Nas and members of the Griselda collective, Westside Gunn, Benny The Butcher, and Conway The Machine, who are known for their gritty style.

Adding to the variety, singers Stacy Barthe and Marsha Ambrosius will provide soulful vocals to complement Raekwon’s hard-hitting verses. The album’s production features talented names like Swizz Beatz, Nottz, J.U.S.T.I.C.E League, Frank G, and Roadsart, promising a rich, cinematic sound that matches Raekwon’s lyrical skills. Even with such an impressive lineup, there’s still a sense of mystery around the album. There have been no early songs or previews released, just the announcement itself, which builds even more expectation.

But for Raekwon, this is part of his journey. He has always delivered powerful lyrics and relatable street stories without much introduction. The title, The Emperor’s New Clothes, suggests a fresh start and a daring vision that might challenge the current state of rap. With his experienced flow and storytelling still sharp, Raekwon seems prepared to reestablish his place among the top artists in hip-hop.

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Fashion

Wendy Williams Makes Stylish Splash At Columbia Supporting Her Designer

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In a delightful surprise for fans and fashion enthusiasts, Wendy Williams made a rare appearance at Columbia University on Tuesday, and everyone couldn’t help but notice her. The former talk show host was in high spirits as she showed up to support her longtime friend and fashion designer, Mel Maxi. Wendy looked fantastic in a stylish black-and-white outfit that included a Yankee hat and her trademark flair.

Designed by Maxi himself, her outfit was not just chic but also had a personal touch that highlighted her vibrant personality. In a heartwarming moment recorded on video, Wendy told Maxi, “This is amazing! This was specifically designed for me… this is really hand done.” Wendy came to cheer on Maxi, who was set to give a lecture about fashion design at the prestigious university. Her appearance was a meaningful moment between two creative friends who have supported each other for years. Wendy’s presence emphasized the importance of friendship and collaboration in the creative world.

As she walked by, a nearby fan shouted their love for Wendy, and she instinctively responded with her signature warmth and enthusiasm: “Thank you!” she exclaimed with a big smile. After being away from the spotlight for months, Wendy’s visit was a refreshing change for fans who have missed her lively spirit. There were no fancy events or flashing cameras, just Wendy enjoying the moment, supporting a friend, and reminding us all of the significance of showing up for the people we care about.

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