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What We’re NOT Going To Do Is Use Our New Year’s Resolutions To Body-Shame Ourselves

Sorry, no. …

Many of us have done it: Started the year with the resolution to lose weight, sure we’d stick to high-pressure goal we’d dreamed up in a fit of self-hatred. To drop 20lbs, go to the gym every day, count calories or never look at a piece of bread ever again. The fact of the matter is, New Year’s resolutions about weight loss can be dangerous and damaging, especially if you let them warp your self-image and negatively impact your self-esteem.

I’ve been that person—the first one at the gym on January 1, so sore by day three that they take the rest of the month off. I’ve also been the person to go and stick to it, grinding day in and day out. Both versions of myself are valid. In transparency, I’ve never been the person to commit to a hardcore diet, but I’ve definitely been the person to try to eat less and end up binging, only to totally hate myself for it. In at least one of these examples (or potentially all of them) I’m sure you see yourself. That’s OK. This is a reminder that you don’t have to start your 2021 apologizing for or trying to “fix” your appearance.

For some reason, weight loss, gym dedication and getting in shape are some of the most common New Year’s Resolutions of all time. And for people who, for one reason or another, need to do all of the above, that’s perfectly okay. Setting goals and sticking to them is a good thing. A great thing. I’m not here to shame anyone for trying to become healthier. My concern is for anyone who allows an unhealthy self-hated to bloom from the desire to look a certain way.

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My concern is for anyone who allows an unhealthy self-hated to bloom from the desire to look a certain way.

I’m sure I don’t have to give you the whole ~we live in a world of Face-Tuned Instagram models and Photoshopped magazine ads~ spiel, but in case I do, I’ll keep it brief: The perfect bodies you see online and in ads are often not real. You shouldn’t compare yourself to them. Healthy looks different on everyone.

Before you think I’m out here shaming anyone with the goal of hitting the gym, let me clarify yet again. Working towards a healthier lifestyle is an admirable goal! However, in this negative world, it is all too common that we use the season of New Year’s Resolutions to body-shame ourselves, picking our appearance apart in the mirror until we’ve resolved to change every little thing we hate. Does this behavior ultimately lend itself to a healthy lifestyle? No. Very often, it leaves us so distressed that we lose all motivation to do anything. We feel doomed. Defeated. Embarrassed. Trapped.

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Out of all those words, “trapped” hurts me the most. My body is my home, the only home I’ll have forever. I hate the idea of someone feeling trapped inside theirs. My body is the reason I am able to get up and live my life every single day—how can I hate it (and hate myself!) for not looking exactly the way I want?

My body is my home, the only home I’ll have forever.

As you set your New Year’s resolutions, ring in 2021 and maybe even stock up on some new gym gear or healthy snacks, I urge you to be intentional with your goals. Don’t use your resolutions as opportunities to body-shame yourself. Instead, resolve to appreciate and love your body—in fact, this is a far better reason to vow to make healthy choices. Aim for health because your body deserves a long and beautiful life, not because you need to drop 10lbs in case low-rise jeans come back in style (and believe me, I’m doing all that I can to ensure they don’t). In 2021, I challenge you to a different kind of New Year’s Resolution: Resolve to be kind to yourself. You deserve it.

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Carmen Bryan’s Cryptic Post Stirs the Pot in Jay-Z Controversy

Jay-Z

The hip-hop industry currently faces substantial controversy as Jay-Z finds himself in the eye of a storm. Allegations of sexual assault stemming from a 2000 afterparty involving the illustrious rap mogul and disgraced music executive Diddy have ignited fierce public debate. While Jay-Z categorically denies the accusations and expresses his intent to contest the lawsuit, the court of public sentiment appears to have already rendered its verdict. Further complicating this turmoil is the involvement of Carmen Bryan, a name from Jay’s contentious history, which has added a chilling layer to the evolving situation.

Carmen Bryan, recognized for her decade-long affair with the Brooklyn rapper, recently took to Instagram with a cryptic yet pointed post. Although she refrained from naming anyone directly, Bryan suggested that loyalty often supersedes ethical morality in cases involving influential individuals. “These days, people don’t defend what is right; they defend who they like,” she wrote. Her parting shot, “And that’s why we call you a groupie,” felt like a verbal mic drop, leaving little doubt about who her words targeted.

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The intrigue didn’t stop there. Bryan shared a snapshot of Jay-Z’s lyrics from his 2010 track “Monster,” honing in on a particularly unsettling line: “Kill a block, I murder the avenues, I rape and pillage your village, women and children.” Though these lyrics were part of a more extensive metaphorical verse showcasing a “monster” persona, their resurfacing in this context feels calculated and ominous.

Bryan is no stranger to controversy, having previously aired her grievances toward Jay-Z. In her 2006 memoir, It’s No Secret: From Nas to Jay-Z, Seduction to Scandal, she detailed their affair and its tumultuous fallout. Additionally, she revealed in a 2017 interview that she had been pregnant with Jay-Z’s child, only to suffer a miscarriage. The relationship, fraught with personal and public conflict, remains a blemish on Jay-Z’s meticulously crafted, otherwise carefully curated narrative. Carmen Bryan’s multifaceted approach raises pertinent questions: Is she simply sharing her perspective on morality in the industry, or does she possess additional undisclosed knowledge?

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While the allegations against Jay-Z are still under legal evaluation, Bryan’s Instagram post has reignited another dimension to the complex and polarizing discussions about power dynamics, accountability, and the ethical responsibilities of those influential individuals in the spotlight. Her courageous decision to use Jay-Z’s lyrics against him paints a stark picture that forces fans and critics alike to reckon with the blurred lines between art and reality.

As the legal proceedings involving Jay-Z progress, the public remains split amid this developing saga. While Jay-Z’s peers have predominantly expressed skepticism toward the allegations, the enduring legacy of this iconic figure hangs in precarious balance, with shadows from the past casting long and potentially damning silhouettes.

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Jay-Z Engrossed in Fresh Allegations as Tony Buzbee Claims More Victims

Jay-Z

In a stunning twist to an already high-stakes legal dispute unfolding with the intensity of a Hollywood thriller, Jay-Z, one of music’s most preeminent figures, finds himself at the center of an explosive allegation involving minors. This drama stems from accusations brought forth by attorney Tony Buzbee and has escalated a conflict that began with a lawsuit over alleged extortion. Buzbee, who represents a woman accusing the music mogul of sexually assaulting her at the 2000 MTV VMAs afterparty, claims there are additional alleged victims, involving both male and female minors.

Jay-Z and his attorney, Alex Spiro, aren’t backing down. They have initiated a countersuit against Buzbee, vehemently denying the allegations and characterizing them as “entirely fabricated and malicious.” Spiro’s filing asserts that Buzbee’s accusations are part of a calculated scheme to tarnish the rapper’s reputation and coerce a settlement. “These baseless accusations are nothing more than a weapon in a calculated plot,” Spiro stated, doubling down on their stance that the allegations are devoid of any factual basis.

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The case took another dramatic turn when the woman Buzbee represents amended her lawsuit against Diddy to include Jay-Z. The timing of the amendment and the salacious nature of the claims have fueled a media frenzy, leaving the hip-hop icon fighting a battle both in the courtroom and in the court of public opinion.

Late Sunday, Jay-Z fired back with a defiant statement on X (formerly Twitter). “What he had calculated was the nature of these allegations and the public scrutiny would make me want to settle,” he wrote. “No sir, it had the opposite effect! It made me want to expose you for the fraud you are in a VERY public fashion. So no, I will not give you ONE RED PENNY!!”

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This case is now racing against the clock, with Jay-Z’s legal representatives seeking an emergency hearing to address the allegations. Their urgency stems from the relentless media coverage, which poses a substantial risk to the Roc Nation founder’s reputation. This matter extends beyond a mere legal confrontation; it encompasses significant implications beyond the courtroom, a fight for his legacy.

The stakes are exceptionally high. Legal counsel Buzbee hints at the potential existence of additional alleged victims, thereby intensifying the spotlight scrutiny placed on both parties involved. With careers, reputations, and justice on the line, this legal showdown is poised to become a critical juncture within the music and entertainment industry. For fans and observers alike, the unfolding circumstances prompt inquiries regarding the veracity of the claims and the tactical weaponization of reputation in the court of public discourse.

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